I AM STRUGGLING
Some of you may know that I have started a side biz selling magical, unicorn hair inducing products. I am seriously loving it. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone, I have learned a ton and I’m starting to make some money!
So what’s the problem??
I can’t stop thinking about it. And I also can’t stop thinking about this blog. Two of my favorite things are warring with each other. Which do I do first? Which is more important?
And what about work? I HAVE to work or I get fired. I need to work but I don’t WANT to work. Which is weird because I really like my job. Selling shampoo and being part of a team with a ton of high energy feeds my soul the way my job can’t.
Needs vs Wants
Then what about my kids and my house?? I get resentful when they need something because it takes away from my time trying to get a new lead. My brain is going haywire. All of these things take time and energy and I think I’m doing a bad job at them all.
- I want to post on Facebook about hair
- I need to do spreadsheet analysis
- Shit! The AC guy is here to see if I need a new furnace
- Do I sit with him or go back to work?
- I need to email Moo’s teacher about a permission slip
- I also need to go to care.com to get a new morning babysitter
- 5 more minutes on facebook to see if I’m getting any engagement
- I want to write a blog post
- Boo hasn’t had a bath in 2 weeks (totally not kidding)
- I need to do a facebook live
- I have 10 jobs that need to be evaluated
- The dog needs to go out
- I need to pay bills
- I’m almost out of bagels, where is my grocery list?
- I need to return the popcorn machine from Moo’s birthday party…. (I really don’t want to do that)
- Taxes! Shit! I need to do my taxes. And email the chic who helps me with my taxes because they need to be filed in two weeks and she probably thinks I’m dead
- I need to do laundry because I’m out of underwear
- Did I remember to turn over the laundry?
- I’ve missed 5 out of 10 days since I started 21 day fix
- I need sleep
All these things are going on in my head at once. I become paralyzed because I don’t know what to do first. When I work on something that I HAVE to work on, I’m thinking about the things I WANT to work on. And when I finally succumb to the things I WANT to do, I am totally distracted and fee guilty because of the things I NEED to do to keep my life rolling along with as few bumps as possible.
Why can’t I just do what I want??
This is really making me upset actually. I feel like I’m failing in every aspect. I do not do my job half-assed but apparently that’s what I’m doing. Headphones usually work to help me focus on the house but it’s not working. I need to get out of this cycle and I’m having a really hard time figuring out how to do that. And I’m freaking tired!! I can’t focus on anything when I’m this tired.
I am sure I’ll figure it out but for now I feel out of control. I’ll take any suggestions you have.
What’s distracting me?
Uh… duh! See above…..
And my fucking Tiles all died! They cannot come soon enough.