The second I got pregnant with our oldest, I started freaking out. ADHD is genetic, what if I give it to my baby? I’d like to say I did everything I could while I was pregnant to reduce the risk of giving my child attention issues but I could barely drink enough water for myself on a daily basis. I mean, I wasn’t smoking a pack a day but I did eat a lot of Mac-N-Cheese to-go cups. You can’t blame me! They were the perfect size and I could actually keep them down in my first trimester.
At some point I had to stop freaking and just wait and see. Fast forward 9 years and I watch both Moo and Boo like a hawk. My biggest concern is that we will get mad at the girls for something they cannot control. As a kid, I would run to my best friends house who lived 100 yards away and I would forget to call when I got there. Literally, 100 yards. My parents would remind me as I was walking out the door to call them as soon as I got there and the second I stepped off the deck into the dark scary night, the thought was completely gone. I’d do this almost every single time and I got yelled at a lot over it. Lot’s of “Why can’t you remember, Happy?” And the answer was always “I don’t know.”
I watch my girls, and they are so different and see so many potential signs for ADHD. Moo gets agitated very quickly and then spirals into an emotional tornado. She’s the one I’ve really been watching as she has her some funny quirks that I can’t really put my finger on and had some slight trouble early on making friends in Kindergarten. To be honest, she reminds me a lot of me. Just a little left of center which is awesome when you get older but really hard to handle as a kid.
Boo I haven’t figured out yet. She seems to be all around more stable or at least I thought so until we went to Target this weekend and found myself sitting on the floor in the middle of the kitchen organization aisle trying to get Boo’s attention. I literally had her sitting in my lap and she could not sit still or take me seriously. She had been running around like a maniac, touching everything and just overall not listening. She’s always kind of like that but it seemed way over the top this time around.
Now, Boo may be acting like a completely normal kid. I DON’T KNOW!! I have no idea what’s normal. I have no idea what behavior is caused by sugar vs disfunctioning neurotransmitters. All I know is that I couldn’t get her to come back to me. She was in complete la la land and wanted to stay there. It was the first real time I’ve wondered if she couldn’t control herself even if she wanted to.
I’m so worried about missing something. I’m worried about overthinking things. I’m worried about giving too much leeway and getting taken advantage of. And I’m really worried about trying to discipline actions that the girls have no control over. Nothing is worse than trying to do what your parents ask you to and then not be able to deliver.
So, for now, I just listen to Moo’s teachers. She is doing great is school and we just picked up some really low level glasses to help with reading since she’s been getting headaches. She’s doing so much better than I did at this age but she’s also a perfectionist and gets bogged down with timed activities and has trouble transitioning. Again, that could be totally normal or she could be in hyper focus and can’t get out of it. I don’t know.
I will watch Boo too. Her preschool teachers have nothing but good things to say and she seems to only act like a crazy person with me. Who knows????
What I do know is that I love them with every ounce of my being and I will do whatever I can to make sure that if either one of them has this disorder that they see it as something that makes them unique and special. I want them to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them the way I wish someone had said to me.
Sooooo, on that happy note I am off to bed. Peace out homies!
What’s distracting me?
Overwhelm! I have so many ideas for this blog; I have a deadline for work tomorrow at 11am; I need to make my lunch; the gypsy moth’s are back, should I get my yard sprayed; yada, yada, yada. One thing at a time…..
What’s distracting you?