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Happy

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There is the belief out there that ADHD isn’t real.  There is also the belief that people with ADHD use it an excuse for bad behavior.  And in some cases, I think that belief is true.  It was for me at least.

The problem was I didn’t know I was using it as an excuse.  I’ve done a lot of work and have learned that despite my ADHD, there is always a way to succeed.  Success just may come using the “long way”.

I’ve been reading a lot of personal development books, the most recent the 10X Rule by Grant Cardone, and it helped me clarify this thought that we use our ADHD as an excuse.

As an adult, I am responsible for my actions regardless of whatever emotional or physical state I may be in.  No one has control over me.  Another person may be the catalyst that causes a trigger but the trigger is mine and I have to make a choice about how I react.

You are probably yelling at me right now….

But I don’t have a choice that I am so hyperactive.

I don’t have control over the fact that I get so emotionally charged.

I truly don’t mean to forget my purse at the movie theater

And all those things are true AND they are all excuses.  Here is what I mean.

I am hyperactive and fidget in meetings.  My ADHD makes me fidget and makes me unable to sit still for very long.  What can I do about this?  Well, I can talk to my manager and ask if it’s okay to stand.  I can bring a fidget of some sort into the meeting to help me focus.  I can do stairs for 10 minutes before the meeting to burn off some energy.

I have a choice.  I can take action and figure out a way to minimize the “itchiness” in my skin.  OR I can say, well I can’t help that I fidget, I have ADHD.

See what I mean? An excuse.

Let’s take the the purse example next.  Again, I have a choice.  I can accept (or get frustrated) that these things happen to me and inconvenience myself every time I go out OR I can figure out a different way.  I can keep my purse on my lap.  I can get something to attach the purse to me that’s long but will pull when I get up and try to walk away.  I can leave the stupid purse at home and get a fanny pack.  Eew!

By the way, I forget shit all over the place.  I recently left my phone on a Jurassic Park shoot-em up video game at our local arcade.  I was so lucky it was still there when I got back (after driving all the way home mind you).

is adhd an excuse?

I bet you’re thinking that while those are great ideas, how do you take control of the emotional part?  I’d like to see you come up with a solution for that!

Well, you are somewhat right.  The emotional piece is crazy difficult and takes a lot of work and a lot of practice.  First thing you should know is when you have a crazy emotional reaction it is most likely not because of whatever is going on right in front of you but something that happened to you when you were like 7 or something.  (I know this because I’ve done a shit ton of therapy and coaching around this very thing.)

Regardless, the trigger is like a firework going off in your head.  How can you stop a firework from going off and exploding into the sky?? Well, you need to smother the fuse before it hits the firework.  I’ll tell you how I do it to give you an example.

Blue Eyes and I have a rule.  If either one of us starts to get to an emotional level 3 (well, this is really for me) then we have to leave the room.  A 3 people!!! A 3 between 1 and 10.  Can you imagine how hard that was when we first implemented this????  I remember the suggestion to us and was like…. there is no way.  But by that point I was learning that if I really wanted something, I could do it despite my ADHD.

This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to overcome.  My thought process around this is dense enough for another whole post.  The bottom line is I was able to change my reaction to the trigger.  Not only do I try and avoid lighting the fuse but split second reaction is now to leave the room instead of rage at my husband. I don’t always succeed but it’s a vast improvement.

Even though we may say ADHD isn’t an excuse, we are still using it as a way out.  A way out of working hard to make things better in our lives and our loved ones.  The reasons isn’t that we have ADHD it’s the we haven’t thought of another way.  A way to do things differently.

I wouldn’t push this idea if I didn’t 100% truly believe that we are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.  I write this post today to tell you that there is another way.  And sometimes until someone puts it in front of your face, you don’t know that there is another way.  Forest for the trees and all that.

Is all of this harder for us than for Nuerotypicals? Yes! And we should feel incredibly proud of ourselves when we accomplish goals such as DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY!

I’d love hear your thoughts on this subject.  I really hope I got the point across because I do not want to diminish the struggle we all face.  We seriously do struggle.  And we are capable.

So much love to you all,

Happy

What’s distracting me?

I’m completely obsessed with my shampoo and my new side gig.  I’m trying to figure out a way to convince my ADHD tribe to join me as I feel MLM is an amazing opportunity for those of us that want to thrive and don’t in a conventional work setting.  Check out this post I wrote, the Top 10 Reasons Network Marketing is Awesome for ADHD.

What’s distracting you?

I’ve joined a Pyramid Scheme!!! What???

Just kidding… well, sort of.  Network Marketing has become a really fantastic way to make money whether it be on the side or as your main source of income.  And if done correctly, isn’t sleazy salesy at all.

A few months back I wrote a post about Side Hustles.  So far, besides starting this blog, joining my network marketing company has been the absolute most fun, most rewarding, and comes with the biggest payoff.

Not all network marketing companies are the same.  You need to find the one that suits you most.  For instance, as much as health and wellness is incredibly important to me, I am not the person to be giving out health advice.  I can’t ask someone to do a detox program while I’m stuffing Oreos down my throat.

via GIPHY

I personally joined a luxury hair care company that makes amazing hair care products that are botanically based, have no harsh chemicals, is vegan, cruelty free…. etc.  I also picked this because it’s a consumable product.  I tried jewelry before but not many people have a ton of money to buy jewelry over and over again on a monthly basis.  Shampoo on the other hand, you always need shampoo.

Selling a consumable product = passive income.  Passive Income is awesome because I don’t really have to work for it.  My customers have a need, I provided them with a resource and when they have more need, they can purchase again without me every getting involved.  I make money while I sleep!!

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Another reason why I love my specific company is that the overhead cost is minimal.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s scary to front a chunk of change when every penny counts.  But if you don’t take risks, make an investment in yourself, you stay stuck where you are.  So besides this one time initial cost (that was totally doable) to get my product pack, there is no other overhead.  No parties to attend (unless you a want to), no product to have on hand and no fees.  And most people, with the right amount of work, get their investment back within the first month.

My favorite part so far (besides the money, duh) is the team.  For me, starting a new venture like this with my ADHD could be a cause for concern.  Doubts and insecurities tackled me the moment I said yes to this.

via GIPHY

The team I joined has put those worries to rest.  The support they provided me is astounding.  The tools that I have at my disposal would costs thousands of dollars in training if I were to do them on my own.  They’ve created a duplicatable system that works to help me (and others) be successful in business.  And OMG the energy!!  I can’t get enough.

So why is Network Marketing great for my ADHD?

  1. I get to play on the internet a lot.  I don’t do salesy stuff but use attraction marketing which requires me to be social.  Doing a Live on Facebook has become my most favorite thing (even though I almost pee my pants the first time)
  2. I get to be part of a team that has crazy energy and wants to see me succeed so they have team meetings and rallies and they keep me accountable.
  3. There is something new everyday.  It’s never boring so it keeps my interest.
  4. No sitting in a cube required.  It’s so much more fun to pace around my house on the phone or meet potentials customers or business partners for coffee.
  5. Getting a sale gives me an incredible dopamine boost!  It’s the best feeling and it makes me want to work harder and harder.
  6. I can work on my terms.  I don’t have someone micromanaging me yet I have a team leader that I can still get support from.
  7. I have an excuse to take selfies!
  8. I have made some awesome friends that are all working towards a similar goal which includes changing lives.  Our own and the lives of others as well.
  9. My energy is a huge asset.  I get customers excited about the product (which is pretty easy cause they are awesome) and business partners are pumped for the opportunity.
  10. I gained more confidence in the first two weeks of doing this than I have in years.  Putting myself out there helped drop some sort of barrier I had up.  I even did a live telling all of Facebook that I have ADHD.  WHAT?!?!

I could probably go on but I’ll be shocked if you have stuck around this long.  I hope you can look at what I’ve done, what I’ve accomplished and believe that this could be a possibility for yourself. Even perhaps an opportunity to get out of the situation you are currently in with your job.  We are not always meant to be in a “normal” 9-5.  We sometimes need some freedom to work when the mood strikes.  Network marketing can give you that freedom.  Just do your research.  Find the product, leadership and company that’s right for you.

If what I’m doing sounds like it could be for you (you know you are curious) and you would like more information, please shoot me an email or reach out via the contact form below.  I really hope I hear from you and look forward to working with you.

Happy

What’s distracting me?

School vacation just started, Moo is going to horsebacking riding camp for a few days and the hours are all funky.  We are leaving to go on vacation and haven’t packed yet.  The dog needs to be boarded and I need to figure out how to get the crate to our babysitter.  The floors are being re-done upstairs while we are away so I have to bring my entire upstairs downstairs while packing at the same time.  And that’s only half of it.  Yeesh!

What’s distracting you?

 

Can’t wait to hear from you!

I AM STRUGGLING

 

Some of you may know that I have started a side biz selling magical, unicorn hair inducing products.  I am seriously loving it.  It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone, I have learned a ton and I’m starting to make some money!

 

So what’s the problem??

 

I can’t stop thinking about it.  And I also can’t stop thinking about this blog.  Two of my favorite things are warring with each other.  Which do I do first?  Which is more important?

 

And what about work?  I HAVE to work or I get fired.  I need to work but I don’t WANT to work.  Which is weird because I really like my job.  Selling shampoo and being part of a team with a ton of high energy feeds my soul the way my job can’t.

Needs vs Wants

 

Then what about my kids and my house?? I get resentful when they need something because it takes away from my time trying to get a new lead.  My brain is going  haywire.  All of these things take time and energy and I think I’m doing a bad job at them all.

 

  • I want to post on Facebook about hair
  • I need to do spreadsheet analysis
  • Shit!  The AC guy is here to see if I need a new furnace
  • Do I sit with him or go back to work?
  • I need to email Moo’s teacher about a permission slip
  • I also need to go to care.com to get a new morning babysitter
  • 5 more minutes on facebook to see if I’m getting any engagement
  • I want to write a blog post
  • Boo hasn’t had a bath in 2 weeks (totally not kidding)
  • I need to do a facebook live
  • I have 10 jobs that need to be evaluated
  • The dog needs to go out
  • I need to pay bills
  • I’m almost out of bagels, where is my grocery list?
  • I need to return the popcorn machine from Moo’s birthday party…. (I really don’t want to do that)
  • Taxes!  Shit! I need to do my taxes.  And email the chic who helps me with my taxes because they need to be filed in two weeks and she probably thinks I’m dead
  • I need to do laundry because I’m out of underwear
  • Did I remember to turn over the laundry?
  • I’ve missed 5 out of 10 days since I started 21 day fix
  • I need sleep

 

All these things are going on in my head at once.  I become paralyzed because I don’t know what to do first.  When I work on something that I HAVE to work on, I’m thinking about the things I WANT to work on.  And when I finally succumb to the things I WANT to do, I am totally distracted and fee guilty because of the things I NEED to do to keep my life rolling along with as few bumps as possible.

 

Why can’t I just do what I want??

 

This is really making me upset actually.  I feel like I’m failing in every aspect.  I do not do my job half-assed but apparently that’s what I’m doing.  Headphones usually work to help me focus on the house but it’s not working.  I need to get out of this cycle and I’m having a really hard time figuring out how to do that.  And I’m freaking tired!! I can’t focus on anything when I’m this tired.

 

I am sure I’ll figure it out but for now I feel out of control.  I’ll take any suggestions you have.

 

What’s distracting me?

Uh… duh!  See above…..

 

And my fucking Tiles all died!  They cannot come soon enough.

What’s distracting you?

The Side Hustle Post

People with ADHD often have a hard time getting or keeping a job.  We are not a one size fits all type of person and we get bored easily.  We move to0 fast and make mistakes; leave things until the last-minute causing stress and more mistakes.  We are late… a lot.

This post may contain affiliate links meaning I earn a commission if you use those links. But never fear, I only recommend good shit that I use and love. See affiliate disclaimer here.

There is nothing worse than getting fired over and over again.  I should know, I’ve been there.  Your self-esteem drags on the floor behind you like a cat with a broken tail.  (My cat once broke her tail and it was so sad to see her running around dragging it on the floor behind her… but I digress)

This post isn’t about self-esteem and how to pick it up.  It’s about paying the bills or making some extra spending cash.  Or maybe even find a true calling which may change your life forever.

If you find yourself in a position where it is painfully obvious that your ADHD is affecting your job negatively, then you need to find a job that embraces your ADHD and all the quirks that come along with that.

Way easier said than done, right?

It’s all about the side hustle

Luckily, there are numerous ways to make money while looking for that perfect (or at least tolerable) gig.  Some of which the only requirement is to sit on the couch with your computer.  Some of these are not big money makers but every little bit helps right? I’m learning about new side hustles every day and I’m trying really hard not get crazy bummed because I didn’t find out about them earlier.

If you are between jobs or just straight up need some extra cash; check out these side hustles and start bringing in some dough.  Updates will be made continually be updated as I learn of new side hustles so check back often.

 

 

Survey Junkie

You literally sit on your couch and fill out some questions and each survey is worth a certain amount of points.  Once you get to 1000 points, you get 10 bucks.  Their site is really clean and simple to use which is awesome cause lord knows I get crazy distracted if there is too much stuff to look at on the page.

 

Uber

If I didn’t have two kids and all sort of unknown perishables hiding the in cracks of my car, I would totally do this in my spare time.  You use your own car to give people rides and you get paid every single week. And it’s super flexible—you can drive day or night, 24/7. You just hop in your car, turn on the app, and you’ll get a pickup request from a rider.  All you need is a smartphone, 4-door vehicle, valid driver’s license, be at least 21, vehicle registration and license.  (You haven’t let your registration expire have you???).

 

Uber Eats

Don’t want to deliver people? Deliver food.  And you don’t even need a car to do it.  Depending on the rules of your city you may be able to deliver with your bike or scooter. Like Uber Driver, it’s flexible and works with your schedule.

Blogging

Uh, yeah!  I didn’t know you could make money blogging either. I kept hearing about blogging as a side hustle and I didn’t get how you could make money at all.  For me, it didn’t even matter at first.  I just wanted to be a resource for people with ADHD.  But as I got started, I found that you can make a killing with a blog.  If you are passionate about anything or even everything, you have something to write about.

To get started you need a domain name and somewhere to host your blog.  I personally use SiteGround for both because I like having everything in one place ( Less for me to remember) but there are other options like GoDaddy or Namecheap.  I’ve used other hosting sites but the customer service at SiteGround is amazeballs and I’ve needed a lot of help.  Best part is they have an awesome promotion going on right now so the cost to start is not terrible.  Click the Banner below to get started.

 

Web Hosting

 

Once you have your web address and hosting, you need to actually create your blog.  If SiteGround is your house, WordPress.org is your furniture.   (Please note – It’s WordPress.ORG not .COM.  There is a .com that is free but you don’t want to use that, you don’t have nearly as much control).  To create your self-hosted website, I really recommend checking out Grayson Bell’s guide on creating a blog.  He also has an amazing free course on how to use WordPress.org.  It’s what I used to get started and I had no idea what I was doing.  I still don’t but that’s probably because I have ADHD and never finished the course.  It’s on my ever growing list of things to do.  I promise that if you take it step by step using Grayson’s instructions and WordPress.org guide, you will be just fine. I mean look how awesome I’m doing???

Shopkick

Using the app on your phone, you earn “kicks” by literally walking into your favorite store.  I get 30 kicks for just walking into target.  You get more kicks for scanning specific items and even more if you purchase some of those items. You can purchase items directly through the app and get even more kicks.  Then you trade your kicks in for gift cards like Target, Walmart or Amazon.  You could even trade your kicks in for a gift card to Tiffany’s.  I should use my kicks for Target gift cards to help save money but I always seem to end up at Starbucks.  Click on the icon below to get 250 kicks with your first walk-in or scan.

 

Ebates

Ebates is really cool and requires almost no work. Ebates give you cash back for shopping at your favorite stores.   You either shop directly through the Ebates site or you can download the Shopping Assistant  automatically tells you if a online story you are browsing has a cash back program with Ebates.  I’ve used Ebates shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond, Shutterfly, Groupon and Macy’s.  And that is just the tip of the iceberg.  Ebates also has a referral program.  Invite your friends and family to join Ebates and they send you a thank you gift.  (I’ll give you three guesses on what that gift is $$$$).  Save $10 on your first purchase by signing up.

 

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back

 

Achievement

The Achievement app connects to over 30 apps and give you points for your healthy activities.  Mine is attached to Fitbit, Apple Health, My Fitness Pal and Map my Walk.  10,000 = $10.  It’s not a huge amount of money but you literally don’t have to do anything different than you already are.  If you want to make money faster, then workout or sleep more or meditate or track your food.

 

 

Ibotta

Another app that doesn’t make money but helps you save.  Before you shop you add offers (basically a coupon) by completing simple tasks like watching a 15 sec commercial or answering a question. You buy the products at participating stores and then redeem your offers by scanning the receipt.  Then you get cash back!   Click below to download the app and get a $10 welcome bonus.

 

There are many more options for making money on the side as well as saving money.  I’ll be adding more side hustles as I learn about them.  In the meantime start making some money!  And don’t forget to check out my list of Favorite Things to manage your daily life with ADHD.

With love,

Happy

 

What’s distracting me?

4th grade homework!  I really want to be that mom that is on top of her kids homework and projects.  The pressure being added on to make sure Moo isn’t half assing projects because we both  forgot that she had something due the next day is intense.  I have to figure this one out.  I don’t want my issues to become a reason why Moo fails at anything.

What’s distracting you?

I have thought for months now, if not longer, that Moo exhibits signs of ADHD due to some emotional irregularity.  She goes from 0 to 100 in a heartbeat.  Her temper flares incredibly quickly at the slightest provocation.  And if I don’t catch that special moment before she tips over the edge, get her to calm down, she goes into a negative spiral in which she talks about hating herself.  It’s the worst to watch and so difficult to get her out of it.  And while Moo is doing great in school, I know that ADHD is so much more than just doing well in school so it’s up to me to make sure she doesn’t suffer.

This post may contain affiliate links meaning I earn a commission if you use those links. But never fear, I only recommend good shit that I use and love. See affiliate disclaimer here.

As a reminder, Moo is 9 going on 15.  Like all little girls, there is a time when one moment she is a little girl and the next you are talking to an adult.  It’s nuts.

Moo has been talking about being uncomfortable in her room or in our house.  The only place she feels comfortable is in my and Blue Eye’s room.  Our home is a safe, warm comfortable place so it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me that she isn’t comfortable in her own room.

I had the thought that maybe Moo wasn’t comfortable in her own body.  It feels as if she is having a lot of emotion/anxiety/overwhelm and just does not know what to do with those feelings.  I know I can feel twitchy and want to jump out of my skin when my brain is on the fritz.

Moo has also been talking about not having a best friend and how she sometimes gets jealous when other kids are playing without her.  She has been known to give a cold shoulder or hold a grudge when in a fight with her friends.  She is a natural leader but simply does not (or cannot) let go of the reigns if the other kids would prefer to play a different way than she wants.

 

There are a many more things that jump out at me and I’m not sure anyone on the outside would see any issues but knowing what I went through, knowing the few things Moo has confided in me, I felt it was time to take her to see Coach.  Who is Coach? Coach is my ADHD coach.  And I am so thankful that we went.  Not only did I learn a ton about how to get the best out of Moo but I learned a lot about me as well.

A quick sidebar….. If you are a parent reading this and do not have ADHD you’ll notice I made the decision to go to my coach and not our pediatrician.  Coach is a licensed counselor that has specialized training in ADD/ADHD.  I knew if I went to our pediatrician (who I love) she would do one of three things. She would either 1. Refer me to a psychologist/psychiatrist to get Moo evaluated, 2. Give me script for Ritalin and send me on my way or 3. Dismiss my concerns because Moo’s symptoms aren’t what most people (even doctors) think of when they think of ADHD.  I knew Coach would help us create a plan with tips and tricks to help Moo thrive and not just give us meds to “fix the problem”.  It’s still possible she doesn’t have ADHD and I don’t want to pump meds into her needlessly. If you read my last post you will see that while meds can be lifesaving, children with ADHD (as well as those without) need so much more to become happy, functional adults.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Our meeting went great.  There are no plans on medication, in fact we didn’t even talk about that.  Moo is doing great in school so our focus was on emotion and trying find ways to avoid stress, overwhelm and anxiety.

The biggest thing I learned, which seems so obvious now, is the 80/20 rule.  The 80% is the action we need to take to avoid issues from occurring.  This means having a clean room, picking out clothes the night before, keeping Moo and Boo on opposite schedules (one brushes teeth while the other gets dressed).  It also means reducing sugar intake and eating before HANGRY sets in.  It means meditating on the regular which for a child might look like sitting in the sun for 10 minutes while playing with the grass with no technology and no other distractions.

The 20% is crisis management.  We are still working on that. For now, it means that I do not engage when Moo has passed the point of emotional no return.  The more I try and control the situation, if I scream or yell or try reverse psychology, I can make it worse.  Way worse.

The 80% part seems way more manageable so I’m going start there 😊

Other things we learned…..

We learned that Moo is an in-charge type of person.  We will be better off giving her a list of things to do in the morning/at night and challenge her rather than telling her what to do.  She needs to feel independent.  When we try and control her, defiance becomes an issue.

We learned how tactile both Moo and I are.  We learn by touching and experiencing.  It’s natural that things like slime, or putty, or beads running through our fingers or grass on our feet would be something we can use to calm us.  I had thought of these things in the past as ways I could help Moo but I never even thought of myself at all.  Typical mom, huh?  Always thinks about kids but never herself.

We also need to give her space.  Without technology and without Boo!  Giving Moo space without her little sister will be incredibly beneficial to her.  If you have advice on how to tell a 4 yr old to stay away from the sister she worships, I am all ears.

In the immediate future, Moo is headed to her grandmother’s for a few days and then camping with Blue Eyes.  I’m going to miss her like crazy but I know she will have a blast.

We see Coach again in a few weeks and I’m looking forward to school starting.  Summer = junk food = bad behavior.  I’m all set with camp and the amount of candy they allow Moo to have.  (She will not be going back).

Lots of scheduling, lots of quiet time… I hope I am up to the task and can keep my own ADHD in check at the same time.  Enjoy those last few days of summer, Winter is coming!  (sorry, couldn’t help myself)

Happy

What’s distracting me?

Work…. Well, sort of.  Late spring and summer are quiet for me.  As we are heading towards the fall things are picking up and I just don’t want it to.  I want to play on the blog and social media.  I want to write about my crazy life.  Work just distracts me from that 😊. (can you hear me whining?).  Unfortunately, I need to make money and I don’t want to get fired so as the weeks move along, Happy Hyper Shiny will need to take a major back seat.  Hopefully I’ll still be present on social media and I’ll get content out as fast as I can.  I just know it won’t be a lot and it makes me sad.  I can barely handle it now as it is.  But I will keep my chin up and enjoy it for what it is and try and not let it stress me out.

What’s distracting you?

Don’t forget to check out my Favorite Things, many of which are sure to make your day easier or more productive!

 

Hey Everybody!

Dr Nick from the Simpsons with raised hand and the text "Hi Everybody."

To much TV in my head. I literally say Hi Everybody in my head the way Dr Nick from The Simpson’s says it every single time I say hi to someone.

This post may contain affiliate links meaning I earn a commission if you use those links. But never fear, I only recommend good shit that I use and love. See affiliate disclaimer here.

Now for the post

I went on vaca for a few days and totally disconnected.  I get so obsessive with whatever I’m doing that I wanted to focus on my family and not think about ADHD, not think about how to improve my life and certainly not think about how my girls are going to suffer terribly from my deficiencies.  I succeeded.

While I had my toes in the sand I was reading a book called, Saving Sarah by Susy Parker.  I’ve mentioned Susy on the blog before.  I discovered her on Instagram and was immediately taken in by her positive attitude and cheery demeanor.  So much charisma in that Gal.

Susy’s daughter, Sarah, has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder).  I know very little about ODD but basically it is an “ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures” that seriously interferes with daily functioning.

All children display some sort of defiance, including my Moo. But Moo has nothing on Sarah.  Susy has her hands full and I give her an enormous amount credit because of what she and her family have experienced.

I picked up Susy’s book because she has an amazingly positive outlook on ADHD which I am trying to adopt.  It’s been a little harder than I hoped.

Should we medicate?

What I didn’t expect to happen from reading Susy’s book is my outlook on medication.  I am currently medicated and have no desire to stop.  I take Wellbutrin and Concerta which help me immensely in my daily life and I am okay with that.  However, I wonder what my life would have been like had I been

  1. Been diagnosed at a younger age.  
  2. Had parents that were appropriately educated about ADHD.  
  3. Been told repeatedly that there is nothing wrong with me, that I wasn’t bad. That I’m not stupid and that I am just different and that difference does not mean I am “wrong”. 

With the right environment, would I have been able to love myself at a much earlier age?  I still have trouble with this.  I doubt myself everyday and am constantly looking outward for someone to tell me “it’s okay.”  I don’t want to care if someone else thinks “it’s okay.”  I want to believe “it’s okay” even if others don’t understand me or aren’t happy with my behavior.

Would I have been able to go down a career path that was more suited for me, like art or theater, instead of forcing myself into a box because I so desperately wanted to be seen as smart and put together?  I felt that people didn’t look at artists or actors and think of them as smart.  I wanted to be a business woman like my mom.  I wanted to be taken seriously like she was, be important like she was, and karate chop any person who got in my way Miss Piggy style.

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Would I have been able to gain skills and acquire tools to help me manage my daily life?

You know… nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills… sorry, I had to.

I did a pretty good job of that on my own but it’s still a struggle.  The struggle is especially real now that I have kids and pets and a home that I have to take care of.

And let’s not forget about my relationship with Blue Eyes.  How can I be the best wife I can be if I keep putting the burden of my happiness on him?  Blue Eyes is not my Father.  He cannot fill the gap that was made when I was 7 and my dad would yell at me for forgetting to write down that someone called. (No voicemail or cell phones in the 80’s)

Would the knowledge of what was going on in my brain help heal the pieces of me that were breaking day after day because I thought I wasn’t good enough?

At 7 years old would the knowledge that I WAS good enough have been able to put back those pieces?

For a long time (and maybe still) I’ve been angry that I wasn’t diagnosed and medicated at an earlier age.  I can see now how medication alone would not have been the answer. I needed someone to explain to me what was going on in my brain.  My parents needed encouragement and someone to explain to them that I didn’t have control of the things I did wrong.  That they in turn needed to help me understand those same things and together learn a way to come up with different solutions besides yelling.

And most of all, I needed love.  Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly lucky. My parents loved me as much as any child could ever hope for.  There was also anger and frustration at things I couldn’t control and as a young child I interpreted that as being bad.  And how can you love a kid that is bad?

I for sure am still angry at the docs for giving me a pill and sending me on my way.  For not probing deeper when I said everything was fine but was losing pound after pound before their eyes because of my meds. Why didn’t they explain that I had felt different my whole life because I actually was different?  Why didn’t they tell me that I lacked impulse control which meant jumping all over the room but also equaled verbal diarrhea? Oh the friends I have lost because of stupid things that came out of my mouth.

So many questions with answers I am only getting now.  23 years!!!

Okay, I think I’m ranting.  Shocker!

The bottom line is that I 100% feel that medication is not the answer.  Medication can play an amazing role but if a child (and parents) is not educated about ADHD, if love and reassurance aren’t given regularly self-esteem will still be an issue.  Not knowing how to regulate emotions will still be an issue.  Impulse control will still be an issue.  Good habits need to be taught.  Love needs to be given.  Helping a child believe that they can still accomplish anything even if others don’t think they can is critically important.

I have no major recs today except for Susy’s book, Saving Sarah.  Obviously.  Check it out.  Gain further insight.  Love yourself.  NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU…. Or me!

Image of the book Saving Sarah by Susy Park. Also a link to the book on Amazon.

Happy

 

What’s distracting me?

Vacation.  I want my toes back in the sand.  I want to ready my summertime novels about witches (which I’ve read about 4 times).  Oh, that’s a good rec.

I want to sleep and then do laundry.  I need to catch up on Game of Thrones.  Lots of life to do and no time to do it.

What’s distracting you?

 

 

Hi all!  Thanks for stopping by.  I have to tell you about my new toy cause it’s seriously saving my life right now.

I hate drinking water. 

Like really hate it.  When I was pregnant I must have gone to the hospital at least 4 times during my two pregnancies because I was dehydrated.  Even at the most important moments of my life I wasn’t drinking water.

Unfortunately for me I take ADHD meds which means I have extra incentive to drink water.  Blech! My meds give me dry mouth.  Dry mouth = bad breath.  Eeeewwwwee! Also, one of the side effects of my meds is headaches and staying hydrated keeps those at bay.  Although I may get the headaches because I’m dehydrated.  Either way,  I get headaches so I must drink water.  Otherwise Moo & Boo have to deal with a a grumpy mom and that’s not cool.

If you don’t take meds, drinking water is still essential to keeping you focused. Dr. Joshua Gowin from Psychology Today confirms how important staying hydrated is. “Years of research have found that when we’re parched, we have more difficulty keeping our attention focused. Dehydration can impair short-term memory function and the recall of long-term memory. The ability to perform mental arithmetic, like calculating whether or not you’ll be late for work if you hit snooze for another 15 minutes, is compromised when your fluids are low.”

Yikes! Compromised before I even wake up!  Doubly compromised since I haven’t taken my meds yet!!

How do we stay hydrated?

Even when taking our meds it’s easy to forget to drink water.  Sometimes I get into hyperfocus and water is the last thing on my mind or I am unwilling to break that hyperfocus to get some fluids in.

So this is where my new toy comes in.  I got an Ulla.

Isn’t it cute!

I have been staring at it on the internet for months and I finally broke down and got one.  It’s programmed to remind me to pick up my water bottle at least twice per hour.  It’s this cute little light that has a rubber band thing that I just put on my cup.   If I don’t pick it up at random intervals throughout the hour, it starts blinking at me.  It’s impossible not to notice. I mean, it’s a bright flashing light.  It would have to be behind me for me to miss it and even then I would see the flash against the wall.  I have never once missed the blink.

I am drinking a ton more water and the headaches are gone.  I now need to get one for home since I leave it at work. My home days leave me parched and eating junk

It’s not that expensive and so worth it if you have trouble.  My next purchase is going to be a water bottle that tells me how much to drink in a certain time frame.  I mean, even if I take a sip of water if the Ulla is blinking at me, it doesn’t help if I’m not drinking enough.  I found this one on Amazon.

So do yourself a solid.  If you don’t like drinking water and have trouble like me, pick yourself up an Ulla.  You can grab one by clicking here.

TTYL

Happy

 

 

You know that moment in a conversation when you think “how did we get here?” I love that moment.  I love to backtrack, retrace my steps and figure out the conversational lane changes my brain took me on.  I think it’s really funny.  In fact,  until very recently I thought everyone did this only to realize that not everyone takes left turns at Albuquerque.  What’s up doc?!

(If you didn’t get that reference you are probably really young and now I feel really old.  Google it!) 

What’s the point of all this you ask?  Well, not only do these “lane changes” happen in conversations with other people but my internal thoughts are like this as well.

I’m in the shower the other night and my is brain all over the place. Vernon Dursley’s direction changes to evade Harry’s letter to Hogwarts have got nothing on my runaway thoughts.

Picture of Vernon Dursley from the Harry Potter movies with the caption No Post on Sundays.

 

I think “Hey, it would be really funny if people could see inside my head right now. I think they’d run away screaming”.  That thought leads to other thoughts of all the times I tried to explain what goes on inside my head to loved ones or friends or even the schmo on the street who doesn’t believe ADHD is real.  Jerk! I can never seem to get the point across.  So what better way to explain my mental game of Whack a Mole then to just splatter it all over the internet?

 

Brain?  Meet the internet.  Internet,  my brain…. 

I am so fucking tired.  It’s crazy how I can have so much energy and work so hard all day and then 5:00 rolls around and I crash.  Just this morning I was thinking I’ll work until midnight.  I feel great so I’ll surely still feel great at 10:00 at night. Ha! I finally got in the shower at 9:00 and the girls still aren’t asleep.  Why won’t those fuckers go to sleep?  They were so freaking tired and the second I  say “time to brush your teeth” they pop acid and run amok.  At least that’s what it feels like.  And I’m so tired.  I wish my energy got greater as the day progressed.  Like Benjamin Button.  By the end of the day I’d be a rock star on acid myself.  But wait, would that even work?  I mean I’d be a useless geriatric in the morning so what good would that do.  How long would it take for me to start feeling functional?  10 am? Noon?  I mean if I have to wait until like 2 in the afternoon then this idea is obviously not going to work.  I really hope the girls are asleep by the time I get out of the shower.  I really want them to go to sleep.  How am I going to be functional tomorrow? My body aches all over, I’ve been on my feet all day and yesterday too.  I really need to figure out how to do My Story on Instagram.  I am have no idea how to do that.  How do I do stories and keep myself anonymous?  I guess I could video a stuffed animal or something.  Would that be boring?  Will people connect with me if I do that?  It’s not the same as seeing my face.  Gaaahhhhh I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.  I just want to blog and stuff all day.  It’s so much more fun and there is so much to learn.  Who knew Pinterest was such a big deal to blogging?  That shit’s crazy.  It would be really funny if people could see inside my head right now I am all over the place.  I could do a blog post about all the crazy shit that goes on in my head.  OMG that’s an awesome idea, I’m totally going to do that.  Maybe someone could actually use my crazy head to help explain what it’s like to live in the head of someone with ADHD.  I really need to get my shit together and eat right, exercise and meditate.  Maybe then I wouldn’t be all over the place. I really want to use the blog to help create accountability for that.  It sounded awesome hours ago to commit to getting up at 5 and working out, meditating and all that.  Right now it feels impossible.  Maybe I could commit to one thing.  Like meditating.  But if I’m going to commit to that why not just commit to it all.  It’s because I’m afraid of failing and letting my followers down.  Ha, “my followers” I sound so stuck up.  God I’m tired.  I hope those fuckers are asleep.  Youth is so wasted on the young.   

 

And…. end scene.  Happy walks of stage right in a towel pissed off and muttering to herself that the fuckers aren’t asleep yet.

If you are reading this and do not have ADHD, note that all of these thoughts probably take place in about 120 seconds, if that.  If you do have ADHD then you know what I’m talking about.

And really, it’s still doesn’t do the experience justice.  Maybe because in those same 120 seconds, my emotions change with each of those thoughts.  I go from feeling defeated for losing my energy to exhilarated at the idea of someone freaking out trying to keep up with all the thoughts in my head and then back to irritated because Moo and Boo aren’t asleep yet and every other emotion in between.

I’m tired just writing this.  So the next time you have a conversation and wonder, “how did we get here”? Now you know.  I need a cookie

 

Happy

 

What’s distracting me:  

Dress shopping.  I have like 5 weddings to go to in the month of August and September and I hate dress shopping.  And it’s with a bunch of the same people so it’s not like I can wear the same dress over and over again.  And I know this is starting to sound like an ad (which is kinda is cause if you click on the link below you get $30 off your first rental and then so do I) but seriously… I spent over an hour this morning looking for a dress on Rent the Runway.  And every time they send me an email with new styles (which is pretty often) I spend another hour changing my mind.  I also think of the Christmas party that MIGHT be happening that I MIGHT be invited to and the dress I want to wear to that.  That often adds a half hour or so to the search.   THERE IS NO PARTY YET!  That’s crazy talk that’s what that is.  But back to the point, I haven’t bought a dress in two years and I get to wear designer dresses that I could never afford on my own.  I haven’t gotten a bad dress yet which is amazing considering how risky is it to get a dress 2 days before an event and have never tried it on before.  Luckily there are a ton of reviews for each dress with tons of pictures of real people in the dress.  So seriously,  go check it out Rent the Runway.  You get $30 off your first order by using this link: Go get a seriously awesome, expensive dress that you don’t have a to pay a lot for.  No, seriously!  Go do it!

What’s distracting you?

 

 

 

A good positive attitude is so important and I don’t always have one.  I am not very good at adjusting to change or being flexible.  I very often spiral into darkness when one small thing doesn’t happen the way it’s supposed to.  If Boo decides she doesn’t want to go to sleep, my very carefully crafted night plans trickle down to ruining my morning plans and next thing I know I have entered the Pit of Despair in my head and I am a loser and stupid and my brain is torturing me like the man with six fingers torturing my Sweet Wesley with The Machine.

This post may contain affiliate links meaning I earn a commission if you use those links. But never fear, I only recommend good shit that I love. See affiliate disclaimer here.

Man with six fingers talking to Wesley after being tortured, how do you feel

Starting at 9 pm Sunday night, there was a real chance of emotionally criticizing myself.  However,  in the past few days I had been thinking about how I need to do things differently.  I realize that I make all these plans….

I am going to get up at 5 am every day and meditate and work out…
I am going to come home from work and walk the dog for an hour…
I am going to get the girls on a schedule so they can learn to help clean up after themselves and we can get in the tub more than once a week (if I’m lucky)…

….and the second that those plans fall through (often on the very first day) I criticize myself internally and tell myself I’m not good enough.  This type of behavior is not okay and doesn’t serve anyone.

So, how can I do things differently?  For starters, I need to take out the absolutes. No more should’s, have to’s, every days. Secondly, I can’t do everything.  I can’t get up at 5 am every day if on some days I need to stay up late doing some housework to keep up or work on the blog.  I also need quiet for my brain and staying up late is sometimes the only way to get it.

So here’s my plan..

On the days I want to get up at 5 am, I have to go to bed early.  I need to be asleep by 10:30 the latest.  So I need to shoot for 2-3 nights where I go to be early.  The same will go for working on the blog and housework and staying up late.  I’m going to shoot for an every other day sort of thing.  And even more importantly, I am going to go with the flow.  If my well laid plans at night don’t go so well, like Sunday night when Moo came to me for the second time in 3 days to tell me her head was itchy, I will need to shift and adjust and remind myself that I can’t do everything.  The 4 loads of laundry that need to be folded will just have to wait.

And yes, we confirmed the Moo has lice, again, which means that Boo and I most likely do too.  Over an hour of combing out Moo’s hair and then another (at least) doing my own.  Boo will be tomorrow.

Shit is going to happen.  Lice is going to happen.  I need to be able to go with the flow and I’m not always so good at that. When my plans change I tend to freak out.  The hours of combing could have led me into a dark place.  But it didn’t.  We have been through the lice thing before and I am completely prepared for it (and we have A LOT of hair). Thank goodness for the Terminator.

I knew I was going to hit roadblocks in my plans and I was going to have to adjust.  I didn’t expect a roadblock on day one but I’m pretty stoked that I handled it so well.  My morning ended up crazier than I could have imagined.  Our new morning babysitter was starting, Boo was all nervous and didn’t want me to leave for work, I forgot my headphones (again), a sweater for my freezing office, my earrings and my good sunglasses.  But I remembered my lunch and my computer so it’s still a win.

And I made my train!  I’m doing awesome. Adjust, go with the flow.  Understanding that I am not a good adjuster has been liberating and has allowed me to be better at it.  I know I’m going to have bad days,  we all are.  If I can be positive and try to go with the flow I can do anything.

Happy

 

What’s distracting me:

Lice Duh!  It’s the worst and so gross.  It went around the other 3rd grade class at least three times this year.  I have no idea how it didn’t make it to Moo’s class.  I guess I should consider us lucky. Here’s to a summer of combing and braiding.  Sometimes I wish I was a guy and could just shave my head.

What’s distracting you??

 

You may also have noticed the Princess Bride reference.  It is my all time favorite movie.  Don’t be surprised if I quote it…a lot.  If you haven’t seen it, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  Go directly to Amazon and by that shit now.

Blue Ray version of The Princess Bride

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi There!  Welcome back.

If you follow me on Instagram you will know that I have had a couple of rough days lately with regards to my ADHD. I even posted my brain purge about it a few days ago.

(If you aren’t following me on Instagram you really should…. see the side bar for the link)

No matter what I did I seemed to mess up somehow.  No matter how hard I tried to stay organized, something would get in the way and I would get so frustrated.  I would be so excited to check a to-do off the list only to realize there was a follow-up action needed for whatever freaking reason.

This post contains affiliate links for your convenience. If you make a purchase I may be paid a small commission. See my disclaimer here.

While all this was going on I was trolling Instagram and came across post what included the word Fuck so of course I paid closer attention.  It was a post by my new friend Susy Parker (though she doesn’t know we are friends yet so shhhhhh) about a book that had made a huge impact on her.  Susy’s daughter has ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder, post for another day) which she has written a book about.  Susy also struggles with anxiety and is getting tested for ADHD.  Go check out her blog, it’s awesome.  You can connect with her there on other social media platforms as well.

Anyway… back to my point, the book.  The book is called The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck.  I knew that this book was going to be right up my alley.  I mean come on, it’s got the work Fuck right in the title.

I went out at lunch, went to Borders (I know right?  Who buys books at an actual book store anymore.) and bought the book.  20 pages in and I am not only out of my funk by I feel like I can conquer the world.  Well, that may be an exaggeration but it allowed me to get out of my pity party and just remember to be me and that IT’S OKAY TO BE ME!

I mean, listen to this:

“A confident man doesn’t feel a need to prove that he’s confident.  A rich woman doesn’t feel the need to convince anybody she’s rich.  Either you are or are not.  And if you are dreaming of something all the time, then you’re reinforcing the same unconscious reality over and over; that you are not that.”

How many times have I compared myself to the mom next door that totally has her shit together.  If I’m constantly comparing myself to said mom and wishing I was like her, how could I possibly love myself just the way I am now?

This was awesome too…

“Subtlety #1: Not giving a Fuck does not mean being indifferent. It means being comfortable with being different.”

Uhm, hello McFly?  I don’t need to shut out the world in order to be happy.  I need to let it all in AND be comfortable in my own skin.

And what about this…?

“While not giving a fuck on the surface may seem simple, it’s a whole new bag of burritos under the hood.  I don’t even know what that means, but I don’t give a fuck. A bag of burritos sounds awesome, so let’s just go with it.”

This doesn’t mean anything really.  I just think it’s really funny.  A bag of burritos!!

I am my biggest enemy.  I have the highest most unrealistic expectations of myself.  No wonder I am constantly disappointing in myself.  I am constantly failing.  The question at this point is “why”?  Why are my expectations so high?  Where did these expectations come from?  Are they my true expectations of myself or a manifestation of me as a 7-year old girl trying to be perfect in every which way in order to make her parent and teachers proud.

I’m 39.  There are no more elementary school teachers.  My parents (though my father is no longer with us) love me unconditionally. Why am I still working so hard to please everyone?  If I could care less I’d be a lot happier.  I long for the day when Blue Eyes says to me “Did you do X?” my response won’t be to get defensive and combative if I haven’t completed the task.  I mean he’s just asking a freaking question!

I want to not give a fuck and be able to not berate myself for not getting a task done.  I’m not sitting around watching Dancing with the Stars with my kids running around naked and 5 loads of laundry thrown all over the house. I work hard and commute long hours.  It should not that big of a deal if I miss a task here or there.  Now if someone could just convince my psyche.

I am really loving this book and am looking forward to what the rest holds for me.  If you are interested, there is a link to the book below.  I can’t wait to chat with you all about it!

Happy

*Picture is all Mark Hanson, the creator of the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

What’s distracting me:

My Favorite Murder podcast.  It’s so stinking disturbing and so funny at the same time.  I want to listen to it all the time. Except when it gets dark.  Once it gets dark I totally freak out.  I also don’t recommend researching pictures of any of the murders they talk about.  Big mistake.  Huge!

What’s distracting you?